Timing

When will things ever fall into place? I keep praying that God will reveal his plans to me. He has a serious sense of humor when it comes to relationships in my life. Yes, I’m finally resolving to dive into the topic I've been avoiding like the plague-- I'm referring to my relationships, which make up a significant part of any person's life, and which I have avoided mentioning up until now because I have felt like they should remain private. However, I can't discuss the past week without just admitting that is what I'm referring to here.

I am anxious. I wish I knew the end of my story. When I first pick up a novel I am always tempted to cheat and look ahead to the ending. I'm also a little mushy and admit that I like the happy endings. In my life, I want to fast forward into the future and see what God has in store for me. Like any good novel I know it will have its twists and turns, ups and downs, zigs, and zags... etc. However, also like any good novel, I know the ending is going to be amazing because God has written more "best sellers" than J.K. Rowling...

So, I'm listening for His voice and waiting for His hand to turn me in the right direction. Maybe this is some way for my will and heart to both be strengthened? I must at least try to take this opportunity to learn some patience and open my ears in order to listen in Him. That is all.

Thinking.... But Not Over Doing It

It's funny how often people have a tendency to over think what should be the rather simple. I am guilty of this myself. I worry about the things I can't even control to the point of thinking how to avoid tragedy. The irony in this is that most of the things I get myself stressed over, surprise, surprise... NEVER HAPPEN. Often we want to say this is a "girl thing" and the female sex is guilty of overanalyzing far more often than men. I would like to make an argument against this accusation because stereotypes are just so overrated. We are all guilty of this whether we want to fess up to it or not.
As I continue to add to the list of things I want to work on this semester-- over thinking is moving up on the list. I pledge to never over think anything ever again... okay let's be a little more realistic. I will try my best to cut back on over thinking things, especially the things I cannot control.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change those I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

...that is all.

Give me a break

Yes, it's sad but I must admit the kit-kat jingle came to mind as I was thinking of how to title this blog post. This weekend I have done nothing productive. I am currently in Ohio and every day I have slept in and lounged the majority of the day just relaxing and almost falling asleep. Yesterday I even too a little nap... for about 2 hours. However, the Sunday afternoon nap is tradition and there's just something about getting up going to church, sitting through the service (usually thinking about how the singing might be improved; I am guilty) and thinking about lunch as soon as the final prayer ends, then eating a ridiculous amount of food and crashing. I mean it just isn't Sunday if this routine is not strictly enforced.
Now, I don't have any classes today and part of me was tempted to get a head start of the week ahead and maybe even next week. However, after careful consideration I have changed my mind. I never go a weekend without doing homework, so I'm taking this time to do nothing. However, in all this relaxation I do want to remember why I have this time.
Martin Luther King Jr. was a great man, and today we need to remember all the good that he did on behalf of the civil rights movement. Take a moment to honor this great man today... that is all.

A&F Blues

Some days I love my job, others.. well you know. Yesterday as I walked into work I was in a good mood. This is surprising because all day I had been dreading it and was somehow hoping that I would need to attend to an emergency of some kind and get out of it. However, I was not that fortunate. A shocking thing happened though when I got there... I decided to make the best of it and have a good time, which is what you should always do at your job and if that's impossible for you to do then maybe you need a new job. (Just a thought...) As I begin to joke around and challenge my fellow co-workers to fold-offs I saw an opportunity. EVERYONE was just in a bad mood. I started to get torn down myself then had to stop, step back, and rethink the situation. (This is something new I've been trying, the whole take a step back, breathe, evaluate the situation then see what you can do to improve it.) I began to get annoyed. Didn't these people know I was in a good mood and they were killing it? How selfish... of me. I had been given a gift, or rather, an opportunity to cheer these people up. So, that's what I did for the 5 hours I was with them. I have no idea how successful I really was, but I do know that for a short period of time they got to be amused by my ridiculous antics and, hopefully, forget whatever was going on in their lives outside of A&F to make them so melancholy. My overall challenge is three-fold (for all you Friends fans out there...) 1.) Don't let others tear you down, inside use it as a chance to lift them up 2.) Make the best of any situation you find yourself 3.) Have fun and enjoy life whenever you have an opportunity, and sometimes you have to make your own opportunities.... that is all.

Look Like A Teacher

You know that phrase if it looks like an apple, tastes like an apple, and feels like an apple then it's probably an apple? (Or something like that... haha) Well I was thinking about it today because I got some "teaching clothes" in the mail today. They were a belated Christmas present; which is nice because who doesn't love getting mail? However, I stray though from my point-- I tried them on, threw on my high heels and twisted my hair sticking it into place with a few bobby pins then looked in the mirror hoping to look at least 19 or 20. I usually look about 16 or 17 and that's never a good thing when you step in front of a room full of high school juniors or seniors and demand their attention... Looking over my outfit I shuddered... "Did I look like a teacher?" I couldn't help but wonder. Are my mannerisms sophisticated enough to pull off teaching "punk" 18 year olds in my honors class. I fear that as I start this next student teaching practicum the students might have more content knowledge than me! How am I going to pull this one off? Am I ready to be an adult? It's a journey and this is just the next step I need to take.

Side not, but it fits nicely... I was talking to a friend from work last week about outlandish metaphors, and we were trying to come up with enough to write a book... (I have no idea how, but it was actually quite funny in the moment.) In all our banter he said one that stuck...
"Walking is like building stairs. You have to do it one step at a time." (Thanks Sam) So, pray that I just take this journey one step at a time and remember this when I' starting to get too stressed.... that is all.

Growing Up

Today was a day for self-reflection. In a nutshell, I have not been really happy with certain areas of my life for awhile now, and today it really hit me. I have wanted to blame the people around me instead of talking responsibility for myself. Then it hit me, if I'm the one with the problems maybe it's not everyone else, maybe, just maybe, it's me who needs to make a change. Something I've always struggled with is admitting when I'm wrong and although I've gotten a little better over the past few years, I still have a long way to go. So, here I am admitting I've been wrong... a lot. I need to grow up and start being more of an adult. I need to be less selfish and start thinking about how what I say or do affects others. This is just a glimpse at the thoughts that are plagueing my mind right now, but I'm praying about it. I will continue to pray about it, and I do ask for your prayers too. It's a lifelong journey, but I have to make en effort to start somewhere, here I go...

time

“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” - Theophrastus

I admit I completely stole this quote from Brandon's website, but I read it and couldn't help but think it was worth stealing. I mention it now because of a conversation I had just last night when a friend said, "I don't believe in 'I don't have enough time for that' because we make time for the things that are important to us."
This got me to thinking how right he was in this statement. Over the past 3 1/2 years of my college career I have always stayed busy juggling 18+ credit hours, working, spending time with friends and family, etc. and it can be overwhelming. But, I'd like to think that when push comes to shove and I have to prioritize, people come first. I'm sure there have been exceptions to this, but if one of my friends really needs me I always manage to find the time. I stay up all night, give up on studying, or even forgo food (gasp) if I have a friend in need. I have never once regretted getting a lower grade on a test or paper or having to drink some extra coffee because I did not get enough sleep because I spent too much time with a person.
As I enter the final months of my college career I think back and smile at some of the wonderful experiences I've had because of the wonderful people in my life. My challenge to anyone who actually reads this (haha) is to think were you put your time because that will show you who or what you find most important.