don't judge me

Alright, I admit that I use this phrase all the time. Usually, it directly follows something lame that I do or say when I see a quizzical look thrown my way, and it's said in fun. However, I really got to thinking tonight about how we as Christians are often accused of being too judgmental. I was called "shoes" in high school-- short for goody two shoes-- and did I mention this was a private, "Christian" school full of "good kids"? Sure, it was all in jest and said in a teasing, loving kind of way, but I've always been accused of being the kind of person that is "boring" because of my lack of activities. I've dealt with crude nicknames on and off over the last decade or so, usually trying my best to laugh them off, just hoping my prosecutors would lose interest as soon as they saw in didn't phase me. I just don't think it's right. How can you tease a person for doing something good? What's wrong with people now-a-days?

I'll never forget during my waitressing days when the cooks found out about my religious beliefs. One of them came out from behind the grill looking me up and down. When I asked what he was doing he simply replied, "I've never seen a 20 year old virgin. In fact, I didn't know they existed; you must be a unicorn because I don't think you're real." The remainder of the night and week every male employee called me "unicorn" saying, a 20 year old virgin who'd never drank alcohol or smoked before must be some kind of mythological creature.

Here's where my confusion comes into the picture. I've been teased relentlessly over the years for the choices I have made. Now, I'm proud of my morals and beliefs, and I'm not ashamed of any decisions I've made in life. Not that I've ever claimed to be perfect because I've made a lot of stupid decisions that I wish I hadn't. Trust me, I'm not perfect at all, but I don't regret those choices because I learned from my mistakes and still do every day. Ask my family and close friends and I'm sure they could tell you just how imperfect I really am. Yet, people have told me they feel uncomfortable around me, like they're not good enough since they've made different decisions in regards to sexual purity, underage drinking, and smoking--those are the top three categories that seem to grab peoples' attention when it comes to my life.

So, here I am being gossiped about and teased for making good choices; then being accused of judging people who make different decisions. I have never told someone they were wrong for having sex out of marriage, and I have never condemned anyone for underage drinking, only expressing my concern to a few close friends over the years more for their safety than anything else. I admit I give my friends a hard time about smoking occasionally, but it's a disgusting habit, which is so bad for you. I mean, it's expensive, makes you smell bad, and will cause you health problems later on in life. But, why is it that my choices are so interesting? It disgusts me how often people talk about them. I know I've rare, but does my decision to remain a virgin until I'm married really need to be a discussion when people first get to know me? It's not like I want to know how many sexual partners a person has when we first become acquainted. I guess I'm frustrated because it's a label that people slap me with that's usually followed by one of the following comments: "That must suck" or "She's missing out" or "She needs to get laid asap."

People are more judgmental of me for my lack of experiences. It's rude and insulting to be honest. I'm not making fun of your life style, so lay off mine, okay? What kind of world do we live in when you're ridiculed for trying to do what you think is right? It makes me sick thinking about it. People always bash religious people, and I'm not saying that religion is perfect. It's not, because man is imperfect and messes it up sometimes. However, it's a little hypocritical to judge us by just writing us off because you think we're judging you. It's a stupid cycle. I want to share my beliefs sure, but I can't force them on you and would never try to do that.

What a long vent this has turned out to be...I guess my point is that people always say religious people judge them for living a "sinful life" but isn't true that all religions seemed to get labeled by this generalization? I mean, everyone has some judgemental tendencies-both religious and nonreligious. Shouldn't we all just keep our opinions to ourselves? We can live our own lives the way we choose, without being teased, nagged, told we're doomed to a less than desirable afterlife, etc. Love the person, without writing them off for their flaws-no matter what they may be...that is all.