Proud to be like Naomi...my top 5 :)

My top 5 college classes:
(Yes, I like copying Naomi, and I am not ashamed to admit it.) :)

So these are the 5 classes that come to mind first when I think over my 4 1/2 years at Rochester College. Some more for academic growth, some for spiritual growth, and some for social growth. They all were rewarding on some level to my journey as a lifelong learner.

1.) I guess it's always best to start at the beginning, so it would have to be Freshman Seminar. Although it was not the most academically stimulating class of my college career, I actually did learn a lot about relationships of all kinds: romantic, friendships, parental, sibling, etc. I also also introduced to Debi Rutledge, who is one of the finest members of the RC staff. Not only did she schedule meetings with all her freshman in that class (I still remember sitting in her living room and chatting about my hope for my college career.) but it was obvious she cared about us when we showed up. She also used to joke around about Lindsay's and my chronic tardiness...we were 5 minutes late about 50% of the time for this 10a.m. class, which is funny because I was always on time for my 8a.m. class the other 3 days of the week. Debi did not care at all. She was just happy we did show up. :) While on that subject, this class is also special because it was one of the reasons Lindsay and I got so close this 1st semester. We hadn't really been friends prior to RC.

2.) The next class that seems to jump out at me would have to be Educational Psychology, which I took during the spring semester of my sophomore year with Dr. Gordin MacKinnon. The class was on Friday mornings from 8-10:40...ouch. However, Dr. MacKinnon was so fascinating to listen to and had so many good stories to share. I also grew a lot from the field experience associated with this course at Hart Middle School in the Resource Room. There were also a few interesting book sharing experiences with Lindsay. :) haha

3.) Critical Writing and Literary Analysis seems to be the next class to come to mind when remembering the best of the best. I took it in the spring semester of my junior year (actually I technically had enough credits to be considered a senior but it was my 3rd year of college) with Tom Golden. He made us all really think. It was probably the most challenging course of my college career because we had to read different, thought provoking texts and analyze them with different "lenses." We had a paper due almost every class, and I often had to read the material 2 or 3 times to understand it, especially the first 3 or 4 weeks of the class. My talents as a writer grew and expanded throughout the course of this semester so much. I am so grateful for this course, and I only wished it could have been longer.

4.) I couldn't mention my favorite classes without slipping a Greer class in the mix. You see, History is my minor, and I took more classes with Dr. David Greer than any other professor over my time at Rochester. I sometimes even rearranged my schedule, so I would have the pleasure of hearing him lecture. My favorite Greer class is hard to tact down, but since I've got this chronological theme going on I'll say The Early American Republic, which I took during the spring of my senior year. It only had about 15 students, and there were some great discussions to be had during this course. Greer is best known for two things: his greeting and the fact that he never lets you out one minute early. The greeting: "Good morning (afternoon) history fans!" It is so apparent that he loves his job and history, and he will make you love it too. Also, he is one of the smartest professors I have had the pleasure of taking a class with.

5.) I am tempted to say Shakespearen Tragedies is my final favorite; HOWEVER, since Student Teaching is technically a class, I have to go with that. That 15 week semester was more challenging than any other two semesters put together. I grew more as a student, teaching, and person than any other 3 month period. I cannot begin to express how much I adore teaching. I can't wait to have my own classroom and do this the rest of my life. The students teach me something new every day. I can't get over how much I loved being even a small part of my student's lives. Working with Sarah was also a blessing, she was tough and pushed me every day. I am so grateful for this experience.

It was so difficult to list only 5 courses (in fact I cheated and mentioned 6 technically) but here are some for the honorable mention category: Old Testament with Dr. Fleer; Earth Science w/ Dr. Brackey; Grammar w/ Debbie Haskell; Advanced Composition and Senior Writing Project w/ Pam Light; Short Story Genre w/ Tom Golden; English Assessment Strategies w/ Vikki Bentley; Romans with Eric Magnusson; Comp. B and American Writers 2 w/ Zac Watson; Any Education class w/ Mr. Dawson, especially Oklahoma; and Nature Study w/ Carol Van Hoosen.

funny clothes

It's interesting how funny people dress up for graduation. I mean long gowns, that are far too baggy in many cases, which are made of thin, shiny material. The sleeves long and loose, and then there are the hats. Square and pointy edges in most cases; however, many of the professors who have a PhD get a round, cushion like hat and all adorned with tassels. I'm sure that if someone from another part of the world popped in for a graduation ceromony I wonder what observations they might make. I just look at pictures from graduation last weekend and tend to giggle...that is all.

the end or rather the beginning...

Life has a funny way of changing constantly. Here I sit, practically a college graduate. I completed all of my college courses last May and, as of last Friday, I completed student teaching including all of my seminar requirements. What's next? Well, I've subbed in Rochester the past three days, which has been great. I love teaching, and it's nice to know I will be happy doing it for the next thirty years. However, since I do love it so much, there is a drawback....the job market in Michigan. It's crazy to think even ten years ago how I would be interviewing at multiple schools right now, but today, well...that's obviously not the case.

I worked in a middle school Monday, and I was in a special education classroom with 5 students and 2 parapros to assist as well. What a crazy day that turned out to be! I have never felt so needed by students before! These 6th and 7th graders can not even form sentences to communicate what they wanted from from me. They needed hand on hand instruction, literally. I had to put the pencil in my student's hand and place my hand over top in order to help him write. I was exhausted by 2:30, but it was so rewarding to help them all so much.

Yesterday, I subbed in a CADs classroom. Basically, all the students work independently on computers designing things for engineering and architecture courses. It felt like I was a glorified babysitter, but it was great to be back at Stoney working with some of my old students and meeting some new students too.

Today, I worked as a P.E. teacher at Stoney. I know some of you are snickering. However, 4 out of my 5 classes just listened to a guest speaker who was introducing sex education. It was again great to be at Stoney. The school is so amazing. I just hope one day I end up in a school that nice!

So, I don't know where I'm going to end up. I have no idea if I'll find a job any time soon; however, I'll be praying about it, and I know God has some plan for me..that is all.

2 weeks, 1 day, 29 minutes...

It is now 1:31 p.m. on Saturday, November 29, 2008 and it's hitting me...I will be graduating from college in just 2 short weeks. I can't believe how fast the past semester has gone by. There were days when the end seemed so far away. But now here I am, sitting home and contemplating my future. Where do I go next? Where should I live? work? I don't have any answers. When I started college 4 years ago I felt so confident. Compared to most of my friends I was unique. I had a major and minor--a direction to go in education-wise. Now, here I sit, more confused than ever. I have so many big decisions to make in the next month. Should I sign a lease here or out of state? Where can I find a job? I mean, this is such a solid economy, right? :) I guess I wanted to throw all this out here because I have no idea. I just needs prayers and support...that is all.

brrrrr

A few years back someone, someone who knows me very well actually, once said, "Jennifer can't stand to be alone when it's cold outside. She needs someone to keep her warm." I laugh thinking about it now because it was said as a half joke. I am always cold...even when it's 70 degrees outside I am still cold. I thought you were supposed to be more adaptable to cold Michigan weather when you've lived here your whole life. However, the tough gene must have skipped me because I am always cold. Maybe it was growing up in my house, where the thermostat never seems higher than 64. That's only when we have company too. Usually it's 62...I wish I was just kidding there...haha So, as I freeze a little from the cold weather outside I just want to mention a few of the things that help me stay warm: a hot cup of coffee, wrapping up tightly in a blanket (which usually lends itself to an afternoon of reading if I have my way...), knee-high socks, my favorite sweatshirt (which is perfectly broken in of course), and a few intangible things. For example, my mother's smile, laugh, and the way she drinks her tea. Or watching a good movie and having someone to share it with. Perhaps, the way my dad cares about my brother and I so dearly. He is such a softhearted, wonderful father. Even the way my family teases one another in a playful manner. Maybe I'm cold on the outside, but these all warm my heart, which is far more important....that is all. :)

11/11

The 11th of November...by far one of my favorite dates on the calendar (even now, 4 years later). I've always been a lover of dates. They are committed to my memory in a strange way, and (WARNING: The following information is very nerdy and boring.) I tend to notice "cute" patterns with the numbers involved. Example 01-02-03/ 08-08-08/ 02-04-06--yes, I'm serious. :) It's not like I make a huge deal out of this sort of thing, but it makes me smile. Now, 11:11 is a popular time for some people with the whole "make a wish" thing, typical of optimists under the age of 25. So, is it really that shocking that I would think 11/11 was so special?

Other things I find special:
When you pick up your phone to call someone and it starts ringing the instead your fingertips graze the surface with...surprise, surprise, that person on the other end.
When the first snow comes to town and the flakes dance across your nose and dance around the ground...so excited to be back after the long summer that they refuse to settle.
When you sit down and realize you don't have anything to do..the idea is do foreign you rack your brain, but alas, you can relax without feelings guilty about it. :)
When you impact someone's life---it might just be passing a stranger and shooting a smile in his or her direction, but it makes a difference.
When you look back and see how much you've changed in the past year, and hopefully, it was for the better. Maybe you even grew up a little, but not too much. "Be childlike, not childish" :)
When you jam out in the car and catch the people next to you staring, after a .001 seconds worth of embarrassment you just keep dancing. Life is too short to care what other people think about you.
When a hug from someone special can make all your problems just melt away. It's rare to find people like that and if you do, hold onto them, but also, know when to let go of people. This is one of the hardest lessons I've faced in life.
When you think back on old memories and still laugh out loud because of your friends involved in making them. A true Friend Is Like A Good Bra... Hard to Find. Supportive. Comfortable. And Always Close To Our Heart... ;)

...just some random thoughts on a good day, that is all. :)

329

Today I was the 329th voter for the 4th percident in Rochester Hills. Voting has always been a big deal for me. I went to the Secretary of State the day after my 18th birthday to register and haven't missed an election since. This is not going to be some rant about my political opinions by the way. My parents raised me to keep those thoughts private. :) However, I will talk about the importance of voting. Two hundred years ago when our country was founded we were given the right to vote (well at least white men were and since then it's spread to everyone else over the age of 18) and I hate to sound too corny, but it's a gift. My first election was in 2004, and it was a presidental election so it was all the more exciting. I'm proud to have a voice in this country. :) that is all..

just another thursday

Okay, I just have to say I LOVE teaching. It is, without a doubt, what I feel called to do for the rest of my life. Every month, every week, every day, every class--I learn more and more. Student teaching started off a little slow, but over the past two months it's only gotten better and better. :) My students are good kids. Sometimes they talk more than they should and drive me crazy, but overall, they are great. I used to be crazy overwhelmed by writing lesson plans, making handouts and worksheets, and grading papers, and I do it all for free. However, I want to come back every day. I want to get out of bed (Maybe not as early as I have to, but I'm more of a morning person than I ever have been). and teach all day, every day.
So...a little more about my classes.

1st hour: I have 12-1, which is a senior level composition class. It is designed as a college prep course and far harder than any classes I took in HS as far as I recall, it has been a long time... haha The class is surprisingly talkative for 7:35a.m. but funny. A few of them are amazing writers and far ahead of a lot of college freshman I have encountered. I hope some of them get a kick in the butt when they get to college though because they can be a bit whinny about Shakespeare and the workload at times. :)

2nd hour: My prep. Basically I plan things out with Sarah or put on my headphones and knock out your typical teacher tasks. I dare you to say that 5 times fast. :)

3rd hour: Oh my juniors...This course is 11A. It is the harder of the 2 junior courses offered in our district. The first 6 weeks were dedicated to learning MLA, gathering sources, outlining, and writing a large research paper. Now, we review grammar briefly MWF and have been dedicating the rest of class time to reading 1984. Speaking of grammar, I still need to write their accumulative grammar quiz for tomorrow. On Friday I hand them a mini paper filled with mistakes, which review all the grammar and MLA we have learned up to this point, and focusing on the latest skill dominantly. This week it's colons and semicolons. Always exciting. :)

4th hour: Yearbook, and by far the most unconventional part of my day. You see, most of the girls who apply for this course, know Sarah and have developed a sort of teacher/student friendship with her over their time at Stoney. Some of them have even paid to take required classes in summer school, so they can take YB over and over--it being an elective and all. It's nice to get to know those girls because they are so sweet. However, don't get me wrong, they work VERY hard. Stoney Creek puts out one of the nicest yearbooks I have ever seen. I can't wait to get my copy of this year's in the spring.

5th hour: Mythology, which is a mix of juniors and seniors. This is a literature course that all these students have elected to take. It can be a lot of fun too. Since it's a literature class there are no papers, but there is a lot of reading involved. The class is broken down into different units by archetypes. We just finished the god-teacher unit, which included a few short stories and the novel Frankenstein. That class is rowdy in one word. haha It is composed mainly of boys, it's just after lunch, and it has 35 students--in other words, every desk is filled. Sometimes they can get a little crazy, but honestly I find myself trying not to laugh before I turn on my serious face and telling them to quiet down. :)

6th hour: Another section of 12-1. This class is very focused. They are doing an amazing job of getting through Hamlet and their college application essays were great. There are some very cool stories in that class too. From the guy who is the essence of school spirit to the injured football player/wrestler who can never play these sports again but was still voted captain and goes to every practice and game helping from the sidelines. You can't make this stuff up...he's truly inspirational to me and doesn't even know it.

Well, that's a brief look into my life...that is all. :)

grading papers

I can't believe it's been two weeks since my last entry. My life has been pretty hectic lately. I'm teaching full-time now, which is exhausting but rewarding. The best way to explain being a first time teacher is to compare it to freshman year of high school or college, particularly college. When you get there it's kind of scary and possibly uncomfortable at time, this is similar to those first observations you spend in a classroom. Then you get comfortable, make friends, and have fun until you hit that week. That week when you have 2 papers and a huge test looming along with a mountain of homework and you freak a little bit. You are incredibly stressed but somehow manage to make it through, probably getting marks a little lower than you were accustomed to. Then you get in the groove, work out a schedule, and learn time management. After this it's all downhill, and college (although challenging) becomes less of a nightmare. Well, writing lessons, teaching, and grading papers is the same way. The past two weeks like my "freshman year" and now that I have that under my belt it's coming much easier. Well...grading a stack of essays still takes a great deal of time; however, that's only because some of them are written so...(must stay positive...stay positive) creatively written. :) I love teaching though, and I can not wait to get my own classroom...that is all. :)

shall we dance?

The staff dance performance was yesterday, and it was fantastic! Note: we were better than any of the class performances. :) I admit this is coming from a somewhat biased stand point; however, I still believe it is a true statement. After 2 weeks of practices, sore muscles, and far too many 8 counts it all came together. It's nice to have a place in the Stoney Creek family. I realize that in another 2 months I will graduate and have to move on somewhere. It would be wonderful to come back to SCHS full time and actually be paid to teach. The reality of the situation still strikes me though...I don't think I'll be getting a teaching job full time in January in this state. Dancing in front of 1600+ people though...that was fun. :) Wow, I didn't realize how big that audience was until just now...good thing too. If I had realized that sooner I might have been a little more nervous. :) Well, short and sweet, this was all I had time for...back to lesson plans! ..that is all.

ode to autumn

There is always that one morning. If you've lived in Michigan for any extended period of time you know what I'm talking about. That one morning when you wake up with a shiver and realize at some point during your slumber summer ended and autumn commenced. It usually happens at about 3 or 4 a.m. because you have to get up and slide out from under your sheets and throw that extra blanket on your bed. No longer are you fighting with your sheets anymore prying them off halfway through the night due to the heat. Instead you now cling to every possible source of heat. Then when your alarm goes off and you start to slide your leg out of bed and your toe grazes the chilly floor you instantly cringe and fling the covers back over your body grasping for those last few moments of warmth from your safe haven of pillows and blankets.

I bring this up because this was 2 nights ago. How poetic that it happened on September 30th/October 1st. One month ending, a new month beginning--one season closing, a new season opening. I know there are official days on the calendar devoted to the starts of the seasons; however, we Michiganders know best when it comes to weather changing. After all, we experience these changes about every 20 minutes. We often joke around saying, "If you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes because it will change." There is a great deal of truth to this statement. In fact, this one characteristic of Michigan that I have come to love over the last 22 years. If I lived somewhere without 4 distinct seasons I might just cry. Especially autumn--with the reds, yellows, and oranges on every tree slowly overtaking the green; the apple cider; cool mornings and days perfect for sporting your favorite sweatshirt...it is by far my favorite time of the year. If only it could last a bit longer. :(

Hmm...Fall is awesome! That is all. :)

dance, dance

Celebration. A word that is often associated with fun, hard work, stress, and countless hours of practice in acting, singing, and dancing--the last of which is what concerns me today. Stoney Creek has an annual lip-sync competition, which I just found out today puts some of the college's club acts to shame. There are teachers who are better dancers than most students around campus. Even after a few kids these moms know how to move and put me to shame. I wish I was better at learning choreography faster! lol I'll keep you posted, but this is going to be funny to say the least.

see you at the pole

Alright, alright, ALRIGHT! You caught me. I admit it. Right now I am, in fact, journaling/blogging from school...gasp! I know, I know, I KNOW! You caught me. I admit it. I am, in fact, a horrible example. :) If it makes any difference though it's before school and technically I'm not on my website, but in fact, I'm writing what appears to be an email at this moment. I did want so badly to wait until after school to get this down, but that's when I have a team teaching meeting with Sarah and Emily then I'll just barely have time for dinner before curriculum night--also know as parent-teacher conferences....sooooo I'm writing now. :)

This morning was tough. I was exhausted from yesterday (being that I worked at school all day, did school stuff all afternoon, and then had to go into work all night) and I felt like staying in bed. However, I did somehow manage to find the strength to get up, get ready, get in my car, and get to school. Driving here was a challenge being that is was so foggy outside. It seemed as though I had transported to the cloud city on the plant of Bespin in Stars Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. (yes, I love all the Star Wars movies. Don't judge me because they are AMAZING.) After parking I walked through the fog and happened upon a group of no more than 30 standing around the flagpole.

You see, today is "See you at the Pole" which is a Nationally recognized event where students across the United States gather at 7a.m. at their school's flagpole and pray. Growing up I attended a private school and went every year. My brother was typically involved in the prayer and the majority of my school attended. I mean there were at over 100 people there every year. This might not seem like a large number, but when your school only has about 35 staff members and approximately 200 students 50% is a good turn out for an event that early in the morning. Now, here I am at a school with over 100 on staff and just over 1,600 students there were only 30 people here? It just blows my mind!

"See you at the Pole" always made me feel so special. It was like I was apart of something so much bigger than VCA (Valley Christian Academy) because 1,000s of other schools, private and public, took part in this event. I have nostalgic memories about singing and praying then having a nice breakfast with all my fellow Christian classmates and teachers to kick off another Wednesday. I even recall it being extra special one year because it fell on the same day as my sweet sixteen. Now, 5 years out of high school I find myself teaching at one of the biggest and nicest schools in the state, and it is filled with some good people. Some of them religious too I am sure; however, there is still something missing for me.

I want to be a Ms. Griffin, who used to pray with me if I was going through a rough week. A Mrs. Fox, who always had a smile on my face at school or when I would run into her at church later the same day. Maybe a Mr. Turner, who was cheery, had bible verses on his walls, and used to always say "every day is a good day, some days just happen to be great days!" There are so many others I could mention, but basically I just want to say as many wonderful things as this school offers there is just something these students are missing that I was so blessed to have and that is a Christian centered education. Other resources might have been lacking due to funding or class size, but I wouldn't trade my high school experience for any of them.

Even now, when I witness every day what public school is like. I'm not saying one is better than the other. I'm not saying that if you don't send your kids to a private school you don't really love Jesus. I'm not saying that if you do send your kids to private school they will not only get a diploma but also a ticket to Heaven. I just know that my faith is a huge part of who I am and that part was developed extensively because of my school. Note: my parents are the number one reason I turned out this way, and the fact that they chose to send me to VCA was such a supplemental blessing for me.

Private v. Public school? Not a debate I want to get into right now, but one thing I will say: What you do at home matters far more than the school building you drive to each morning...that is all. :)

22 years

I know I'm a few days late, but I feel as though I should make some remark(s) about turning another year older... Last Thursday (the 18th) was my 22nd birthday. I've never been huge on celebrating my birthday and having a monsterous party of sorts. However, I do feel it is important to acknowledge one's birthday, so I spent it with a few close friends, which was nice. It's hard to believe I'm 22 years old, and I was reflecting back over the past 22 years remembering good time, hard times, challenging times, special times, memorable times, and wonderful, heartwarming times.

22. My first day of school...kindergarten. I sat next to Brandi Miller, who became one of my best friends all the way through elementry school.
21. Building forts with my brother and all the neighbors. I was the only girl and a total tomboy.
20. Playing basketball in the driveway all summer long with Drew.
19. My first sleepover with Bethany and Sarah when I was 8.
18. Learning to play poker with my Grandma. :)
17. Family get togethers with my Mom's side, when we ate KFC for our main course along with everything else being homemade.
16. Picking up a volleyball for the first time in 7th grade, and instantly knowing I never wanted to put it down.
15. Driving to school with Drew and jamming out to the radio.
14. Watching Friends every Thursday at 8 with my family.
13. Getting Chinese food and an old mom with my mom then spending the whole night together, just with two of us.
12. Graduating with Trent, Jamie, Ryan, Brandon, Nate, Anna, and Mike.
11. Driving to away games with the girls in high school.
10. Fallfest and Winterfest trips with the youth group.
9. MDYC trips with Samantha, Amy, Jamie, Jen, Miranda, Angela, etc.
8. Spending a week of my summer from age 8 to 20 out at MCYC, as a camper to counselor.
7. Coaching jr. high girl's volleybal with LeAnn and always going to Dairy Queen after games.
6. Winning Districts my senior year in volleyball with Jamie, Samantha, Jessica, Meghan, Melinda, and Gretchen.
5. Taking my brother to college and crying like a little girl about it.
4. My brother coming home from college to surprise me on my 17th birthday.
3. Pledging Sigma Phi and being apart of it the next 3 years.
2. Living with Lindsay 4 years at RC...so many good times there.
1. Having the best friends and family in the whole world...

it's been too long...

I apologize for the lack of blogging, but the past month has been crazy to say the very least. I'm sure there are just so many out there who keep coming to my page and crying over the lack of an update...haha yeah right. I guess I'll just dive right into what's been going on and if I happen to say something profound and/or interesting in there then that will just be a bonus. :)

Jump Start was great! All of the directors, leaders, set-up crew, speakers, p/w leaders, volunteers, res. life, faculty, staff, and of course....freshman were fantastic! I hate to sound like a cheerleader from the Valley who is way too excited but oh well. :) Although I will admit parts were a bit corny, some sessions might have been a tad boring, and the schedule was hard to keep up with Saturday because of a certain red bus...(that's all I'm going to say, oh and sometimes people mistake this bus for a dog..) I'll just go right into some of the major highlights from the week:
1.) Any time with Shane when he grew a backbone and teased me...bonus points if Terrill was there to laugh at his comments.
2.) Moving around to the different groups during their small group sessions. It was cool to see the differences all the leaders made with the material we gave them and fun to hang out with the freshman too.
3.) The Deeper Still concert...I love them, enough said. :)
4.) The Candle Lighting Ceremony: by far my favorite JS memory from when I was a freshman and each year it has been a favorite.
5.) Zac Watson as a judge for the talent show. Watching him attempt to do math was hilarious.
6.) The talent show in general...it was short and sweet this year. Some of our students impressed me with their musical capabilities.
7.) Getting to know the freshman at the welcome circle.
So...thanks to everyone who "made their mark" on Jumpstart 08. :)

it's late...

....or should I really be saying, "Wow, it's early."? I have no idea why I'm starting a new post at 1:08a.m. when I should be sleeping. To be honest 1a.m. isn't usually that early, but this week it seems like 5a.m. just because Jump Start is quite exhausting, and my eyelids are slowly closing at this very moment. I had this strange thought though and I wanted to write it out....

You see two days ago I was driving home in the dead of night. It was about 1:30a.m. and I had been watching the Olympics and drifting in and out of consciousness the majority of the night, so needless to say I was out of it. ---Some background information--There's a stage I tend to go to when I'm sleepy when random things/thoughts jump out and take control over my mind. This is also the stage I like to write my papers in because I tend to be tired enough to get my work done and mellow enough to not stress but rather write.---Anyways, back to what I was saying--As I was driving down Avon Rd. someone else appeared over the hill and quickly flicked their brights off; however, the damage had been done...I was blinded. Note, I could still see the road and was in no real danger of hurting anyone, well at least no more than usual, but everything was blurred.

This is where I'm going to make a leap...I began to compare this to life in general. How often is my vision blurred by bright lights such as work, homework, gossip, greed, selfishness, friends, family, emotions, etc.? Sometimes these things will creep up on us, just like a car appearing as it drives over a hill, flashing lights in our eyes. This is when we need sunglasses on I guess and, finishing this crazy metaphor, mine are prayer, my Bible, Jesus, and all things to keep my mind focused on my spirituality rather than anything else...I said I was going to be making a stretch haha

...that is all. :)

jump start is here...

I can't believe it's August 12th and Jump Start stuff kicks off in 10 hours! It seems so long ago that I was filling out my application to be a leader, and Terrill suggested I apply for the co-director position instead. After my interview and recieving my letter offering me the job then all the meetings over the past 6 months accumulating to this day...well I can't believe it's finally here! I love that in the next few hours all the leaders will be moving back on campus and tonight I'll get to see everyone. I hope they're all as pumped as I am for the next week. Hopefully everything will go smoothly, there won't be too many headaches, and no one hires a hitman on anyone else...haha

Soooo....Here's to the freshman and transfer students movng on-campus in 4 days, may your time at RC be amazing in every aspect possible...that is all. :)

tim mcgraw

I've been a fan of Tim McGraw since I was about 15 years old. He's the first country singer to catch my attention, and his greatest hits c.d. is one of my favorites of all time.

In Jr. High and early High School I hated country music. My dad has always been a fan but his love for country music was definitely not genetic. Whenever he would turn it on my brother and I would make him turn it off just as quickly. However, I can still remember the Saturday night in early spring of my freshman year of high school when my brother came home from Target with Tim McGraw's greatest hits. My parents and I teased him a bit for purchasing the country music, but when he wanted to play it on our way to church the next day my dad did not hesitate to put it on, and the end result was shocking. For the first time in my life I enjoyed listening to country music.

I will admit though it wasn't for another 3 or 4 years down the road when my love for this genre of music would expand to what it is today. My freshman year of college Lindsay and I became pretty tight. At that point in time she didn't have a car or driver’s license so often I'd be the one driving us around. It didn't matter what we were doing, where we'd be going, or how many times we'd overplayed it Tim McGraw would be the c.d. of choice. Between songs like "Something like that" (which we have a dance to...), "Just to see you smile", "Don't take the girl" etc. we couldn't help but rock out and be entertained for hours.

Other songs played huge roles in my life over the years, such as "My Best Friend", which still brings tears to my eyes when I think of all the memories behind it. They're of course happy tears in case anyone was keeping track... :)

So, this is my love letter to Tim McGraw, I guess I'm kind of following Taylor Swift's example since she wrote a song about it. I will always love Tim McGraw for introducing me to country music and helping me to form the love I have for it today..that is all. :)

august

I can't believe it's already August. There is just so much to do in the next couple of weeks. First, it's my last week at the store. I love my job, and I'm so sad to quit. :( The people I work with have become so important in my life...duh. I spend 50+ hours a week at my store, of course I'm going to get close to the people I work with every day. I used to have some harsh judgments about Abercrombie and Fitch, though I never hated the store like so many people I know. However, the people there are amazing! They aren't snobby or arrogant (well at least most of them aren't) but instead they are kind, caring, funny, and pretty darn awesome.

Jump Start is only a week away!!! I can't wait for all the leaders to move back next week and then all the freshman to arrive on the 14th. Looking back 4 years ago to when I was moving on campus to play volleyball makes me smile. I can't wait to be one of the first people to welcome them to Rochester College. The next few years of their lives will be some of the most memorable and important and I have the blessing of playing a major role in that. Hopefully I don't mess it up too badly. :)

After JS I'm planning to go to Nashville for 4 or 5 days. I want to spend some time with my big brother and uncle especially. It's still sooooooo weird that my brother lives there officially now. I'm so excited for him. When I visit its like a preview of what my life is going to be in a few months after graduation. If I only knew where I'll be moving after December 13th. God will provide this I know. :)

Then lastly I will start student teaching! How amazing is it that I'll have my own class for a whole semester. I'll get the chance to know my students' names, strengths, weaknesses, quirks, etc. Spending every day in the classroom will be challenging, but I'm ready to step up my game. I just pray that I will be effective as a teacher and taken seriously. Looking so young has always made my placements interesting....I'm going to have juniors mainly in the fall so 5 years will separate me from my students. I've learned so much in the past five years of my life. I'm going to do my best to share the knowledge I have with my students. Maybe my youth will be an advantage in being able to relate to my students.

So...August here I come! ..that is all. :)

book club

I want to read. The idea of sitting down with a few books and doing nothing but being literate for a while sounds so enticing to me. The library has always been a favorite place of mine. There is something so amazing about the smell of books. It might sounds strange but when you crack open a novel at first there is a richness in the aroma.

I remember in elementary school when there was a reading program. Once you completed so many books you would win a free pizza from pizza hut. I wish I could still get free food just for reading. haha Maybe that's the poor, hungry college student in me talking. Perhaps there should be some profound thought to this, but I just wish I had more free time to read...enough said.

Someone actually told me the other day they didn't want to read the book because if the plot was any good someone would just make a movie for it sooner or later. The sad part...they were dead serious. When I have kids I'm going to make them read books before they watch the movie. I bet they'll resent me for that. haha ..that is all. :)

embrace the moments

I find myself being so impatient these days. There are just so many things I desire, and I can't reach out and grab them. They are the types of things you just must be patient and wait on. I consider myself so blessed, but I want more. I guess it's human nature; however, I find that in my case I might take this to an extreme. It seems to be a trend in my life to want to hit the skip button. There are times I think, "Just one more hour, one more day, one more week, or just a few more months and then...." (finishing that sentence varies all the time). I so often forget about the here and now. Wow, living in the present?!? What a crazy concept.

There are so many important things going on in my life, even in this moment. Sure, I'm just sitting on my couch letting my fingers glide across my keyboard, but how awesome is it that I have time to sit and write? It's something I love to do and here I am "living the dream" and doing it. I sound like a hallmark card or some corny after school special...but I'm over it. I'm corny and not ashamed. My goal for the next month is to stop myself from wanting to hit the fast forward and instead maybe try to put things in slow motion instead. (I'm loving this whole remote control analogy tonight I guess.) I might also take use of the pause button and truly savor moments. In a short time I will be so busy with work and student teaching I might not have much time to be corny and write on here. I'd really miss this too if that does happen.

Here's to those moments worth savoring, may there be more of them in the near future...that is all.

the mole

I have a confession to make: I love watching The Mole on t.v. (actually I watch it online because I usually work Monday nights when it airs, but you get the idea). In a nutshell there are 12 players: 6 women, 6 men, with ages ranging from 20 to 60 years old, all of different occupations, etc. you get the idea. They have traveled to Mexico in order to compete in missions each episode; however, one of the team members is being paid to sabotage the missions. At the end of every show the players must take the quiz, which consists of 10 questions about the mole's every move and the player with the most incorrect answers gets sent home.

As I watch the show I also make my own assumptions as to who the mole is. I find myself running into trouble though because when I watch the shows I see EVERYTHING. This includes confessions and behind the scene footage, which only the viewers at home have the "advantage" of watching. Now, I say all this to make a point. I watch the show alone, but always discuss with LeAnn my "big sister" :) We used to watching it back when I was in high school too and analyze everything, making our own assumptions as to who might be the mole. As I told LeAnn though I hate having to see/hear everything. There are too many voices influencing me. I wish I could just observe everything without having to be mislead.

As I was telling this to LeAnn it struck me this is similar to life itself. There are so many voices bussing around. Which ones do we listen to? There is a quote, and sorry I can't recall who said it, that goes, "One of the hardest things in life is knowing which bridge to keep and which bridge to burn." Who are the true friends in our lives that we can trust? Who should be listen to and allow to influence ourselves? This is a challenge I find myself struggling with...all we can do is hope and pray that the people who love, respect, and trust will do their best to not let us down...that is all.

happy 4th of july

It's 1:56a.m. on July 4th. Happy Independence Day!!!! :)

The past couple weeks have been crazy. I'm opening and closing...mainly closing...at the store now. One of my store's managers got transferred and I have kind of taken over his responsibilities. I'm the unofficial people manager now. Only because I am in training until the middle of August. I LOVE my job more than ever. This blog is turning into a lovefest about being a manager at A&F but I work 50 hours a week, so obviosuly it's a big part of my life. One downside to my job...I have to be available 7 days a week. For the first time in my life I have to have open availability. This includes Sunday mornings, which right now I'm being scheduled for because one of my duties as people manager is to run orientation. Orientation takes place every Sunday at 10a.m. at every Hollister, Abercrombie, and Abercrombie & Fitch across the country...I don't have an option in the matter. I miss going to church.....but right now I'm stuck in this schedule.

I have today (the 4th) and tomorrow off from work though. I super excited!!! I'm going to lay outside and attempt to get tan. I also want to catch up on some reading. I usually have about 20 books finished by this point in the summer and this year I've only read 3 or 4. I have a stack of 4 books already picked out. I'm so excited to lay outside and read. It is so relaxing to be apart of nature like that.

I'm super tired, so that's all for now. When I have some more time over the next two days I'll try to write something with a little more meaning...haha

exhasted

Yesterday was great! It was the first time I worked by myself, and I even got to run orientation... scary I know. haha I now have my own key to the store as well as a new schedule that I had a rough time keeping up with this weekend. I worked 5 days straight, which was kinda crazy. Usually around day 3 I can't feel my feet at all and my day off is looming before me; however, this time I had to forget that and power through 5 days. Today was very stressful and really tested me. We were busy not only with customers all day, but with getting the new floor set out. Here's the shocking part though.... I LOVED IT! This morning when my alarm first went off I wasn't sure how I'd make it through the day, but once I was there and had finished my coffee of course I loved being there. The people I work with make me laugh and love my job. There is something so amazing about loving my job this much even with the hours I'm logging there. So...this summer might be filled with work, but there is fun tied in there somewhere too...that is all.

the drive home

Today when work was over, I just wanted to climb into my car and drive home. There are always those days that have dragged by slowly. When you catch yourself glancing at your clock and wondering if time is actually moving backwards. Then you get out of work and drive home with autopilot on. The asphalt becomes a blur, and when you finally reach your destination you find you cannot remember the drive at all.

It was just one of those days. I kept wondering where the time seems to go. Work has taken over a huge chunk of my life this summer. I guess this is a huge taste of what it will be like to grow up and have to go to work every day. It makes me really cherish the relationships I have. The summer has always been a time for me to work. I like to stay busy and save up money for the times when I find myself too busy to log hours during the school year. However, summertime has also provided me with the opportunity to see who cares enough to put in time.

A good friendship is not defined by how often you see each other in my opinion. A strong relationship can stand the test of distance. It's knowing that even if you do not have the time to see each other or talk you still know each other inside and out. You would still be there for him or her in a heartbeat if they called and needed you, dropping anything else because the friendship you have with that person is more important than whatever you might be doing.

On my drive home I thought about my friendships, both new and old. It's funny how much my life has "changed" and yet remained the same over the past few years. I swore I'd never work retail again after Hollister, but here I am a manager at A&F--working for the same company. I never thought I'd live in Ferndale over the summer...here I am though. There are so many factors of my life that a year ago I wouldn't have thought to predict. Sometimes on the drive home I find my mind wandering towards them and I wonder...what does God have in store for me in the future that I could not even imagine? ...that is all.

shifting sand

Back in high school my brother had the Caedmon's Call c.d. (yes, it was an actual compact disc). I remember listening to one song in particular and for some reason today it popped into my head. It's called Shifting Sand, and I'm not sure I realized exactly want it meant back then. However, I always thought it was catchy and liked listening to it.

One line played over and over in my head today at work.... It was the only thing that got me through my 10 hour shift. To be honest, I'm not sure why it was a "bad day" because nothing horrible happened. I walked into the store at 8 a.m. a little tired but happy. However, after a few rude customers and a few minor things that went wrong I just got annoyed and frustrated. Then I walked around quiet the majority of the afternoon, not being nice or rude just blah... This is very unlike my normal work mode. Typically I'm bouncing up and down "dancing" across the store with a smile on my face. I just needed to get through the day...

I often let the little things get to me. If only I could be better at rolling things off my back. However, this song reminded me that although my faith is like shifting sand, thankfully God's lI need to start remembering to be more like that. When someone is rude to me at work this week my goal is to be extra nice to the next three people I speak to, whether they are my associates, co-workers, customers, etc.

Often Patrick Mead will end his services at Rochester COC with some sort of admonition, and that is how I feel inspired to finish this blog, with a little help from Caedmon's Call too.

I will not believe the lies that Satan feeds me daily.
I am loved, and I am special.
I will strive to do what is right and pray for strength when I feel too weak to do so.
I am loved, and I am important.
In all that I do I will try to reflect the same love and compassion that my Heavenly Father has shown me.
God in front of you....leading you through each day.
God to your left....when you sway from the path.
God to your right...when you feel weak and start to faint.
God behind you....catching you when you stumble or fall.
I will stand firm on HIS grace.


Shifting Sand:

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I'm feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure

(Chorus)
My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leperous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I've seen so much
I explained it away

Chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It'd been there all the time

(Chorus repeated)

Stand on grace

Ephesians

Yesterday I went to church and heard one of the best sermons I've heard in a long time. Dr. John Barton was guest speaking at Lake Orion COC and delivered a lesson on Ephesians. Now, if someone had asked me to tell them everything I knew about this book before Dr. Barton's sermon I would have most likely shrugged, scratched my head, and said something along the lines of, "Paul wrote it while he was in prison. It talks about wives submitting to their husbands and also how husbands should love their wives."

Dr. Barton broke the book down into two parts. Splitting it right down the middle, chapters 1-3 then 4-6. In the first half of the book we learn that we are blessed. As Dr. Barton even said, "We are filthy rich!" We have a loving father in Heaven who spoils us rotten. He continuously blesses us and showers us with his loving affection. We often find ourselves complaining about bills, work, and the other hardships of life, but we need to remember how much God has blessed us too. I admit this is an area I need to work on.

The second half of the sermon focused on part two (chapters 4-6) which teach us how to live Christian lives. However, this is what confuses people in the church often. We strive to be "good enough" which is actually impossible. It isn't some check list that God has up there, "Did she pray enough? How often did she read her Bible? Did she treat others with respect and love them as with Jesus' love at all times?" It's more of a system in which grace takes over, and we just do the best we can.

The last part of the sermon.... REMEMBER to keep this book in order. We don't act a certain way in order to reap God's blessings. Rather, we are blessed just because He loves us, and then we should strive to serve him to the best of our ability...that is all. (For now at least.)

Awake

It's actually 2:30 in the morning, yet I find myself awake and wanting to write. I make no promises for the value about this blog; however, I will say there is just something about writing between the hours of 2 and 5a.m. that makes me smile.

So, my material tonight will come from a famous quote. You see, I've heard this quote for years and always loved what it said; yet lately it has become more relevant.

"A man is what he thinks about all day long." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now, Emerson is without question one of my favorite authors, and he is famous for his quotes. They are always penetrating and thought provoking. The thing I love most about this quote is how honest it is...think about it. We claim to be a certain way, but actions always speak louder than words. What do our thoughts revolve around?

Lately, mine have been work, work, red wings, work, and I hope I have time to get everything else done when I'm not at work. So, what's missing? I can tell you right now my spiritual life has taken a backseat to my new work schedule. I'm ashamed to admit that I spend 50 hours a week at my job, and on my day off, Sunday, I didn't even go to church for 2 hours. A messily 2 hours could not be sacrificed to do something to feed my spiritual fire...that is pathetic!

Sure, I can make up the excuse that my friend spent the night with me and she doesn't really do the whole Church of Christ thing because she was raised Catholic. However, my thoughts were not where they belong. They seem like such a blur lately. My focus has been all wrong. Don't get me wrong because I love my job! I think it's a great job too despite all the preconceptions people tend to make about my store. It's easy to do considering some of the clothing we sell and all, but to judge someone for working there is not Christian.

So, it's been easy to be selfish lately and think about my job and what I want to do in my spare time (the little I have) but in the next week I want to challenge myself to think about others first and myself secondly. This being largely in respect to my family.

Also, I want my thoughts to turn to a spiritual focus. I want God to be in the center on my life. He has always been in my life, but now He will be what I'm focusing on. I want to get back into the whole prayer journal thing. The summer I wrote one every day was the summer I figured out all my junk. I stopped believing out of habit and began to explore the why factor. Why am I a Christian? Why do I believe the things I do? Why go to church? ...and the list goes on and on. I guess by putting this down in writing I'm making a formal commitment to do all this stuff....that is all.

Summer

It's now June. I find it so hard to believe I finished my last final a month ago, but this is mainly due to the fact that Oklahoma added two weeks to my semester and work keeps me busy now. This has been a great summer though. I love that I always have somewhere to be; whether that be work, a friend's apartment or house, or whatever errands need to be taken care of. Keeping busy makes the time go by faster then I would prefer, but I have no complaints because I'm having a fun time doing everything.
Kara spent the night with me Saturday, which was great. I was especially in a good mood because the Red Wings had just won their game making it 3-1 in the finals against the penguins. I'm so sad I have to miss what will probably be the last game tonight since I work and all... However, it's kind of a fact of life that you have to do certain things you don't want to sometimes and there is no use in complaining because it doesn't change anything. Also, I have friends who will be texting me score updates throughout the night. I realize it's not the same, but it's all I have to work with.
Yesterday was my day off! I hung out with Kara and when she went into work I ran a few errands, but then.... I did nothing all afternoon. This whole doing nothing thing is now a foreign concept to me, so that was wonderful for a change.
Also, isn't that one point of having a summer vacation? Shouldn't it be a time in which you do nothing? It is, after all, important to sleep in, rest your body, take time to think, and reboot for the week ahead. So, I need to sleep more... that is all.

Oklahoma

I've been back from Oklahoma for almost 2 weeks. A large majority of the time I spent there made me want to write. Teaching every day in a classroom for two weeks gave me a brief insight into the next semester. I also realized how much I LOVE being in the classroom. Now, I have to admit some days were a little rough and I had to take my discipline up a notch, but the hard times made me a better educator.

So, some highlights of my trip:
The ride down with Josh, Curtis, and Brandon... :)
Meeting all the kids at the home
Grocery shopping... haha
Playing football with the kids
Teaching The Alchemist to 4 classes in a row for 2 weeks
Being a "cell phone wizard" haha
Sonic!
Hanging out with Carmen
Watching movies with Carmen using our SWEET set-up :)
Flavor Stix :)
Making brownies
The tour of the Cherokee Indian Reservation and the best tour guide ever: Robert :)
Playing Jr. Monopoly Toy Story edition with Brandon and Carmen
Going on a field trip
Getting hit on by little 8th graders on said field trip
Having friends call and wake me up bc they got to sleep in the next day
Getting lost with Carmen in Oklahoma City
The ride home and singing Leona Lewis "Keep Bleeding" with Curtis, Josh, and Brandon :)

There are so many other things that come to mind, but I'll stop here. I feel blessed by my new friendships and closer bonds with the others from the trip. I can't give the trip justice through a mere blog. I have learned to be patient and accepting in a new light though. My parents have blessed me so much, after working with these kids I feel so grateful... that is all.

Top 10 College Tips

It's May 1, 2008. I'm packing up all my belongings in my dorm room for the last time. Finals are drawing to a close, people are moving home for the summer, and a sigh of relief floats across this campus with a force so powerful you can't help but feel it. Another school year is coming to a close and this time it is different. Tomorrow afternoon I will be taking my last final...and it's of course for my history class. Then I have the joy of moving at warp speed and leaving Saturday at 2 for Oklahoma. I'm just so excited! ...not.

As the semester ends my new job will be beginning. I'm going to be an m.i.t. (Manager in training) at Abercrombie and Fitch at the Lakeside mall. I'm actually very excited about this job! I love working part-time at the A&F in the Village, so this is the next step, a bigger challenge to face I guess. I'm also excited to move into an apartment and decorate. I have big plans for my bedroom especially. :)

But I digress...So, what have I learned after 8 semesters, 2 maymesters, 53 classes and 148 completed credit hours? (Yes, I'm procrastinated on studying for my final exam tomorrow by adding that up...haha)

1.) People are always more important that getting the grade. I'm not saying you should slack off or anything, but if you have to pick between building relationships and killing yourself studying, I vote for the relationships every time. Good friends are hard to find, and they last a lifetime.
2.) Don’t worry too much about your looks. Trust me, they aren't everything. Leave your room without make-up and hair gel weighing you down. Feel good about being natural. Anyone who thinks any less of you for that, isn't worth your time anyways. And it makes those times you do get dressed up all the more special.
3.) Utilize the resources that are in your environment. This might be a good professor who will challenge you, building a relationship with the dean of students, taking a course that you will have to work hard in to succeed, etc.
4.) Make good friends. And when I say good, I mean it two fold. a.) Friends who are good people and encourage you to do good things and b.) friends who treat you right.
5.) Read, as often as you can.. enough said.
6.) Try and keep up on current issues. (This is still something I could be better at.) Whether you do this by watching the news, reading newspapers or the Internet, etc. You should be aware of the world around you, especially outside the U.S.
7.) Enjoy the social aspect as much as you can, but make sure you can balance your schoolwork too! :)
8.) Don't get caught up in gossip, especially when you go to a small school and have facebook to help you stalk people, it can be tempting to talk about your friends. We're all guilty, but in the end it tears people down and is NEVER good.
9.) Don't wish away your college years. There are times when you'll be stressed and frustrated but remember this is a special time in your life and you need to soak it all in.
10.) Try to be open-minded. If you go in with your mind already made up then you might miss out on getting to know a good person, making a new friend, or hearing a new perspective.

I'm sure there are more I could sit here and think of because these 10 came to mind so quickly but I feel that the cliché less is more fits well here. I'm not claiming to be some expert on "How to have the best college experience possible" but I think these might be universal and useful...that is all. :)

pet peeves

I have, what most would consider, a normal amount of pet peeves. I hate when people mess up you're and your....give me a break it's my major. It bothers me when a couple takes PDA to an extreme level, so that everyone around them feels uncomfortable. It drives me crazy when people are fake. This is probably one of the biggest annoyances on my list.

Usually, when you ask someone, "How are you?" or "How was your day?" They tend to answer "good" or "fine" without thinking. It's more of a reaction than a response. I've done it, but then there are times when just after I change my mind and say, "Actually, I'm stressed and tired. I mean life is good, but I miss sleeping." People tend to look at me like I'm crazy, but it's honest. I guess I'm confused on where the line is. When should we be "fake" or when is it okay to be blunt and honest.

This week is kind of rough. My last week of college is drawing itself to a close. I'm a little stressed and sad. There isn't a lot of work to get done, but endings are always sad. Emotions are running high, and I can't help but feel a little sad. When I graduated from high school I knew what the next chapter contained. Now, I'm not positive where I'm headed. I admit I'm a little scared. I know God has a plan for me, and I'm not worried about not being taken care of. However, I'm anxious to figure things out.

So, for me, I need to be honest and put my cards out on the table. However, there are those who are more private and like to give the typical "good" response ans that's okay. So, I'll always hate when people misuse your and you're, but I guess it's not that big of a deal when people automatically answer "good" or "fine" when someone asks them how they're doing...that is all.

taken from wikipedia...

Lately my main focus has been on prayer and getting back into the groove of praying. As I shudder in this moment thinking about presenting my senior project in a mere 3 1/2 hours I need to turn my attention to prayer more than ever. Of course, my mind wondered what might pop up if I googled prayer and the first link was, of course, from wikipedia. So, I clicked on it and here is "prayer" according to everyone's favorite online encloypedia:

Prayer is the act of attempting to communicate, commonly with a sequence of words, with a deity or spirit for the purpose of worshipping, requesting guidance, requesting assistance, confessing sins, as an act of reparation or to express one's thoughts and emotions. The words of the prayer may take the form of intercession, a hymn, incantation or a spontaneous utterance in the person's praying words. Secularly, the term can also be used as an alternative to "hope".

I'd have to say this is a great definition, but I hated seeing prayer described like this. For me, it should be thought of as something more personal. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray he gave them the Lord's Prayer, which we all know by heart (or at least we can paraphrase it pretty effectively). However, I dutifully looked it up for anyone who didn't grow up having to recite this from the age of 5....

Matthew 6:5-15
5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

9"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one. 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but do any of us prayer like this each time we talk to God? No, it's merely a blueprint we should use to guide us. Our prayers should not fit the cookie cutter definition seen in wikipedia. They become useful when we connect to God through them. A prayer's purpose should not be that of a time clock... something we merely do to punch in our worship time for the day. Prayer is a gift. Let us remember to use it as Jesus intended, rather than focusing on what we should be saying... Let us speak from our hearts, that is all.

the value of a college education

School is drawing to a close. It's the same every year for me... the last week of classes has crept up on me and now there are so many things to do in a short period of time. First, there are the papers and projects to finish and present. Next, there's registering and getting everything arranged for my trip to Oklahoma. Also, there are summer living arrangements to be finalized. Oh and did I mention presenting my senior writing project and preparing for and taking final exams? This is what college is about. being capable of taking on so many things and still managing to do them all well.

I don't think the things I have learned in college will help me much once I graduate; however, I do think the skills we obtain by taking courses and completing so many tasks at once will. I'm not discounting my education courses. Yet, I think that a lot of teaching techniques are not learned in college, but rather, in the first few years I will spend in a classroom of my very own. The truth is most careers will train you to complete the job you were hired to do. To enter into these careers you usually are required to have a college degree. Often, the degree does not even have to be in a certain field, any degree will do. (I know this is not true in my case; I need to be certified to teach...duh) However, your job does not cover much of the material you were taught in your courses at college. Rather, the purpose of you college degree is to show you can handle multi-tasking, responsibilities, and critical thinking.

I'm not discounting the value of having a college degree, but I do think its value differs from our perceptions. I guess I'm about to find out when I start my job in 4 weeks. However, I do have 2 weeks of intense training and 4 weeks of loose supervised training following that. I've learned a lot about balancing multiple responsibilities in the past 4 years. This is a lesson I will take with me all throughout life, and that is the most important thing I think I will take away from my college education...that is all.

inspiration: eleanor roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt has always been a woman that I have looked up to. Besides the fact that she married her cousin I have wanted to be just like her since I was about ten. She once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."--A quote that has stuck with me since middle school.

In the beginning I'm not even sure I knew what this quote meant in relation to my life. However, now as a senior in college I have a deeper understanding of it and can relate to it on a more personal level.

I'm guilty of caring too much about what other people think of me. It's a flaw I've been aware of for a few years now. There has to be a balance between listening to our friends' constructive criticism and worrying too much about conforming to appease those around you.
Over my past four years at Rochester College I have seen many people put on faces, which they feel they need to wear to fit in on this campus. Also, I've seen many individuals who do what they want even if it might not be what's "cool". (Who really knows what that is anyways?)

I admire both groups... I know, I know I shouldn't be neutral like this but, this is my blog, and I do what I want.

Group 1 (the conformers) I admire you because I've been in that position. It can be something as simple as sitting through a bad movie just because it's the one your friends picked. I went to see Superbad, even though I knew it was trash, (funny yes, but trash) and afterwards I felt horrible for wasting 2 hours of my life filling my head with such junk. I've laughed at jokes that were tasteless and crude, worn clothing I did not think was very attractive myself, and so many other little things. Now that I'm 21 I hope to share my limited amount of wisdom with whoever might read this. Find people who like who you are. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." It's okay to be weird or different. Don't worry so much about how others might judge you.

Group 2 (the independents) All I have to say is you're an inspiration to me. I don't mind being silly here and there, but I'll admit there are times when I'm not brave enough to just be myself. My goal is to laugh more and worry less even as I'm turning into an "adult"...that is all.

prayer

Prayer is a very powerful tool. I strongly suggest everyone keep a prayer journal because a) it's the best accountability partner a person can have b) you will see prayer working in your life c) it will help you improve your prayer structure d) it's nice to look back later and see how much you've grown spiritually.

I have gone through phases in the past 4 years of college in particularly but lately I just want to get back to prayer. My body is aching for it. Yes, I have a physical pain because my prayer life has been lacking lately. My stomach is in knots and I have never felt so far away from God. I just need my heart to be broken. My environment needs to improve. Work, school, and everything else is just too stressful, and I'm tired and hurting.

I'm going to change it up. Try and get back to my spiritual walk because I've left the path and find myself wandering to the road, which is wide and easy to travel. However, in the end it doesn't take me anywhere good. I'm hurting and it took me far too long to see what I need is prayer. I'm starting now, and I'm pledging to get back to the way I used to be a few months ago. I feel like it's conditioning. I've taken a few months off so my body is out of shape and needs to be broken. It's going to hurt for at first, but soon I know I'll be better off for it.

I ask for prayers as I make an effort here to get closer to Jesus...that is all.

Happy Birthday Dad!

I don't want to have a favorite parent, so after posting on my mom's birthday I have to give a shout out to my dad on his birthday 3 days later. To be honest I've always been a daddy's girl. It might have started at a young age with one of those t-shirts that say, "I love my Daddy" but however it began it stuck.

My dad is a hard worker and a man of integrity. His job is very important to him, but more than that he makes time to be the president of the board for VCA, he attended practically every sporting event, concert, science fair, etc. that I was involved with in school, and he always finds time in this busy schedule for our family.

He is also one of the most generous people I have ever seen. It does not matter what the circumstances are, he's always there to lend a helping hand. I've seen him buy meals for so many people, loan out al sorts of things to people who need them, and buy Christmas or Birthday presents for people from church or work it's crazy.

However, my favorite thing about my dad is his sense of humor. This is probably because it as so like my own--very sarcastic. I especially love when he and my brother are together. There are so many times I have laughed so hard I couldn't even catch my breath.

He's just the best, that is all. :)

Happy Birthday Mom!

Yes, it's my Mother's birthday and I have decided to write a little something about her in my blog. I feel as though she has earned it over the past 21 years...

First, let me start off in saying my mother is amazing. She is quite possibly the best person I know, and if I turn out half as well as she has I'm in pretty great shape. Over the past 21 years she has been one of my best friends. In that respect I have to admit she's also been one of the people I have fought with the most, but that's only because she demands so much. I admire her for setting such high standards though, and she doesn't expect anything more than she is willing to do herself.

She is sweet, and always has a comforting word to say to a friend in need. She is kind and always serving her students in and out of the classroom if need be. My mother is beautiful, inside and out. She is patient--she would have to be in order to put up my dad, brother, and me. No matter what, she puts others' needs before her own. A smile seems to be the permanent facial expression you will see her sporting. Not only is she smart, but she's humble about it--I'm her daughter so I don't have to be, my mother is brilliant. And the list goes on and on.

The thing I admire most about my mother is her relationship with the Lord. Each morning she wakes up early, gets ready for work but then takes time to sit down to eat breakfast and read her bible. She actually reads the entire bible every year--reading the book of Proverbs every month at least once. Even more importantly though, you can see Jesus in her actions. This is why I admire her. She always goes the extra mile, is slow to anger and quick to forgive, and genuinely cares about all the people in her life.

So, happy birthday to the woman who gave birth to me...that is all.

Post Celebration

Celebration 2008--Broadway has come to an end. I feel relieved, happy, sad, and so tired still. Celebration always seems to be the glue which holds social clubs together in the spring semester and even though I will be technically enrolled here through December, due to my student teaching, in many ways this is my last semester. Therefore, it felt like an ending.

SFDN has always held such a special place in my heart over my time at RC. There are days in which I feel stressed and upset due to the polictics that come with the group, but the bonds I have formed over the past 3 years are so special I don't regret much of anything else that had to come with it. I'm not saying social clubs are the right fit for everyone or that you'll regret not being a member of one if you go to college here. However, I think people should stop writing them off as "paying to have friends" here.

I'm so glad I got to be apart of this group. If I hadn't joined I wouldn't be friends with some of the people who are now sisters to me. There are girls in Sigma Phi who are so different from me, and I feel that in college we tend to cling to people who we have a lot in common with. Stressful events like Celebration can draw us all together. In the end we accomplish something as a team and it feels so great. So, thanks to everyone involoved in Celebration-- Stephanie, Karina, Steve, Darren, the entire tech crew, singers, dancers, hosts, actors, etc. because this was one of the most enjoyable Celebrations I have been involved in...that is all.

Intellectual?

There are many people who write blogs to share these deep thoughts and ponderings that they struggle with. My blog has never been meant to provoke crazy thoughts. I admit there are times when I try to write about something a little deeper than what is on the surface; however, I'm not one to sit and try and sound intellectual for a few pages worth of blog material.
However, my thought for the day is that we need to stop trying be sound intellectual and start being intellectual. I hate when people use big words and don't even know what they mean. Let's work on writing and saying things we actually know about instead of the things we think people want to hear.

crazy and loving it

I'm deciding to put my life on hold and write. There is something so powerful about sitting on my bed, gazing at the ceiling, and wondering about whatever issues are flooding my thoughts. I find words as a release. In words we can express our emotions-good and bad-, our struggles, triumphs, defeats, mundain stories, laugh provoking tales, etc. This is why I started my blog. I've been writing now for almost 3 months and even though there are many times I wish I had more time to devote to it life is just not always that kind. Between school, my 2 jobs, celebration practices, student teaching, and any time left over for a social life my writing has been shoved on the back burner. Actually, it has been focused more on my school work, particularly my senior writing project.

This project is the first of the developments in my life that I'll hit on. Whe I was brainstorming what to do--research or creative writing--I knew I had to do something that I would enjoy. Over the years I have written many research papers and if it's a good topic that can be enjoyable. There is something so powerful about the ability to explore something that sparks your curiousity and even better gain knowledge to fuel deeper and more meaning critical thinking. I'm writing 7 vignettes to define abstract ideas through concrete descriptions. I'm far too much of a perfectionist though and keep tweaking it. I wonder if I will ever be happy with it. I'm satisfied but to be happy might be asking too much.

Next, work is killer. I keep picking up hours whenever I can because I love working and need money. Crazy how that works out. Also Jump Start, my second job, is beginning to get more involved. It's been a lot of fun planning Freshman Orientation for next year, and I'm hoping/praying everything turns out great. :) I'm trying to save up as much money as I can for when I move into an apartment this summer.

This brings me to my next topic--I'm going to be moving into an apartment and staying in the Rochester area this summer instead of going home unless some unforseen event happens in the next 5 weeks. I'm so excited to be on my own for the first time. I'm looking for a waitressing job down here for the summer alongside A&F. This brings me to another funny thing career orientented topic. I'm considering taking a manager position at A&F when I graduate until I can find a teaching job. Nashville is still a possibility but in signing a lease I'm committing myself to staying in Michigan until next summer, and I need a few options.

Celebration is well... crazy. My nights have been plagued with practices, but it's been fun. I was seriously considering not participating this year because my schedule is so full; however, I'm so glad I did. It is my senior year, and I have had so many laughs doing it this one last year. Of course this is merely the beginning of tech week... talk to me in about 24 more hours. :)

Student Teaching... well it's been more of a challenge then I thought it would be but great! Every day I wonder if this is the right career path for me and the more I get into teaching the more I start to think this is the right choice for me. Last week I taught a lesson on commas Tuesday then had to grade a huge stack of papers and write my lesson plans to cover the common mistakes everyone seemed to be struggling with to teach first thing on Wedneday. I of course had my own classes, work, and celebration practice too which made this more difficult... but when I began grading the papers and seeing how I could help to improve my student's grammar I was really happy. I love being in front of a class with 30 kids looking to me for direction. It's such a big responsibility, but I'm up for the challenge.

So, that's a small update into the crazy schedule I've been coping with the past couple of weeks. I wish I had more time to sleep, but then I think that I have all the time in the world to sleep after college, right?

Oh and how could I forget March Madness?!? I love watching the college basketball tourney every March. It's truly one of the things I look forward to each year, and I struggle tearing myself away from the t.v. because the upsets and OTs are so exciting. I'm not claiming to be a bracket expert, although I try. :) It's just something fun that really makes the stress of everything else melt away at least for a few hours....that is all.

Define Yourself

Just what every college senior wants... to look in the mirror and ask the question, "Who am I?" Then even scarier, "What am I doing when I graduate in 9 months?" I've always wanted to be a teacher, but lately I just don't know if it's what's right. Funny enough student teaching is what is beginning to change my mind. I spend every Tuesday and some Fridays at Stoney Creek watching a great English teacher and think to myself... "Is this going to be me?"
I just want my own class. I want routine instead of being a guest star every week. I love teaching, but there is just too much involved in pre-teaching that doesn't really help all that much. I'm not trying to bash Rochester College's education program. It's not them because all colleges are like this. Speaking as a student going through the long, tedious program I have to say it could be shortened. It's more important to have a few very good placements, rather than many mediocre. I'm burnt out already after my "week off". haha I need spring break part 2, and it should take place somewhere warm, preferrably with a beach. :) This is why I picked education, so I could get my summers off. ...just kidding! (well kind of)
Do I know what I want to do when I graduate? Not really, but I feel as though education is my calling and even though some days are rough when all is said and done I love it. I love every minute I get to spend lecturing, writing lessons, grading papers, reading a story together in class and discussing its characteristics, and I love helping students. Whether I help them pick teams for March Madness, correct/edit a paper, or show them how to fix a comma splice I know I belong in the classroom...that is all.

Preview of Growing up

So, it's 1:47 a.m. and, go figure, I'm wide awake. Actually, it's now 2:48 a.m. because the clocks jump forward an hour tonight... great. :) I hate losing that hour of sleep, especially at the close of my spring break. The spring break of my senior year of college is basically over, and it's back to class for me on Monday. What an interesting break it has been... I didn't go anywhere but had a lot of fun. Without having classes, I've been filling my days with teaching and work, and it felt like a preview of life after college. Don't get me wrong I spent plenty of time relaxing, heading up to lifetime, and hanging out with friends. Still, it was similar to what my life will be like in less than a year.
People keep asking me what I want to do when I graduate, and I never know what to tell them. I've mentioned before that I would not mind staying in Michigan, but on the other hand it would be amazing to try something new. However, I'm considering things I never thought I would these days. An example would be staying in Rochester over the summer, preferably in an apartment, and then finding a decent job in the area. I'm so eager to be on my own. I'm a little scared of having to pay all of my own bills because my parents have been so financially supportive of me over the year, but I know I can handle it.
Do you ever have that feeling that God has great plans in store for you, but you think to yourself, "God, can you speak up? I'm your instrument, but I need some more direction." So, I lay awake in my bed unsure of the future but so eager to see what's going to happen. I'm reminded of a quote a friend of mine used to say quite frequently, (and I'm not sure where it's originally from so that citation will have to satisfise) "I'm not sure what my future holds, but I'm sure of who holds my future plans." ..that is all.

Loving Like my Lord

Isn't it funny how we as Christians tend to steer away from the "sinners" or "heathens"---basically the non-church goers, even though this was the group that Jesus spent the majority of His time with?
I think about my life and how sheltered it has been. The only times I haven't been completely surrounded by people with the same religious affiliations were at my different jobs. It started off simply enough when I was 17 and working at Subway. (Yes, you can giggle softly to yourself because I was a "sandwich artist" yet, I feel it should be noted I was promoted to a "crew leader in 3 short months--quite the feat.) I worked with a few people who had colorful words intermingled in their vocabulary and who might tell a crazy drinking story here or there. I then worked at Hollister for awhile and got introduced to all the crazy drinking stories from my two managers who were in a fraternity together at Oakland University along with high school students who regaled me with their crazy antics from the weekends. Next, I entered the restaurant world and was surrounded by those who were stunned by the fact that I had never smoked, drank alcohol, or had sex, and I was 20 years old. I was in fact called a "unicorn" because someone my age with all these characteristics shouldn't exist. Now I work at Abercrombie and Fitch and almost all of my co-workers go to OU and like to party. I have always pulled away from this group in the past. I would often go into work I get along with everyone, but at the end of my workday I'd leave and never really talk to anyone outside of work. However, this time I made a concious effort to be different. I actually began to hang out with these people outside of work, and they are good people.
Then the other night I had to endure one of the most awkward conversations revolving around religion, and how those outside of the church see Christians. It stung. (Oh and side note the people who were talking had no idea I was a Christian or went to church or anything. I had jut met those people that night.) I always kind of knew that a lot of people think churchgoers are judgmental and harsh. There are the perceptions that we consider ourselves better than you and that if you don't regularly attend church, pray, and read your bible you will burn in Hell. I say this harshly to make a point... Whether of not those perceptions are indeed true if that's the vibe we're throwing out there how can we ever reach those people?
I want to start off by sayind I am far from perfect. In fact somedays as I'm leaving church there are times I'm tempted to lose my temper driving because someone cut me off on the way home. It's ironic to me that Jesus called us to be know by our love for one another--which I think most of us can handle--yet what about our love for everyone else? Are we showing the love bestowed upon us by Christ to everyone we comeinto contact with, or do we just skate by with a friendly smile? I'm guilty. In the past I've pushed away from people because I knew we didn't have much in common and basically I felt pity for them for leading such an empty life full of drinking and partying. Now, I have to reconsider things because I was wrong to have those opinions. Those thoughts came from going to church and being taught to be like Jesus. Wait... I'm going somewhere with this.
I've sat through many sermons that have proclaimed our need to be like Christ. Look at the huge WWJD movement when we were all taught to reconsider our actions and be like Christ. Now this is a great idea because we should be like Jesus; however, we often make Jesus into someone that he was not. We have this pretty picture of him walking around with his followers, being adored by all, and preaching the word to an audience longing to hear the words he spoke. To an extent this is true, but many also hated Jesus. He surrounded himself with sinners because He knew that was the crowd of people who needed him the most.
If He were alive today Jesus would be talking to those people who hang out in bars and go partying every night they can. He'd be going down to Cass Park and talking with the people there. We do need to be available to those people who know Jesus but have just stopped going to church for a few months without a doubt. I'm just also saying we need to love everyone like Jesus loves us--unconditionally. We need to stop judging and start caring more. It's hard to do but Jesus asked us to and He promised us that He would never ask us to do anything that we did not have the strength to handle. So, let's remember to love like Jesus--that is all.